Nothing to Fear
by Athena-anjali
Summary: Doctor Jonathan Crane investigates the complete lack of fear in human beings, and he organizes a rather curious interview with none other than The Joker.


What is the purpose of fear? Fear prevents us from putting our lives in danger; Without fear, the average human being couldn't survive for long.

Fear is therefore essential.

However, what happens if one _can't_ sense fear at all? This was the question that Doctor Jonathan Crane, psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum, kept asking himself. He had learned how to conquer his fears, how not to let them take over him completely, but still, he felt _it_. It was there, and it creeped on him slowly at first, making sure he noticed it was there. Jonathan grew to love that feeling.

He was still fascinated, though, by people who did not understand what fear was. Jonathan tried to analyze as many patients as possible in Arkham, trying to find an answer to his question, but even the most reckless supercriminals such as Poison Ivy or former DA Harvey Dent feared something.

The only person left for the doctor to analyze was the Joker: _Gotham City's most notorious criminal mastermind_, or so read the document filed by Jonathan's former colleague, Doctor Harleen Quinzel.

Jonathan was well aware of the fact that his interview with the Joker had very low chances of being successful, but as soon as he got permission to engage with the patient, he arranged the interview in his office as fast as he could. So a few hours later, with a notebook in one hand and a pen in the other, Jonathan was more than ready to question the clown, and as soon as the green-haired man walked into his office heavily escorted, Jonathan couldn't help but feel almost excited for what was about to come; Finally, he would get his answer.

"Stab one doctor in the eye with a pen once, and you'll be escorted by armed guards everywhere you need go. Trust me, Doc. _Everywhere_." murmured the Joker as soon as he sat down opposite Jonathan Crane. "A guy can't even make a tiny mistake every once in a while."

"Stabbing a doctor in the eye isn't exactly what I would call a tiny mistake." muttered Jonathan Crane.

"Oh, what do you know? You weren't even there. The guy kept asking me about my childhood, as if I remembered any of it," he chuckled. "Plus, isn't your job just to try and rehabilitate me, good luck with that anyway, so what do you care about the rest?"

"I will not attempt to rehabilitate you. I will just ask you some questions, and we will get this over with." replied Jonathan. He didn't like the Joker, and he couldn't understand how people were so fascinated by him, hypnotized by the clown's manners and deeply interested in his psyche. All Jonathan could see was a bully: a man so full of himself, determined to do whatever he pleases at any cost. The man wasn't even remotely funny, and he wasn't attractive for sure. He still wondered how a bright and smart woman like Harleen Quinzel could fall for someone like that.

"And what exactly are you going to ask me, Doc?" spoke Joker suddenly, interrupting Jonathan's thoughts. "Why do I do this? How do I manage to break out of here twice a week? Or do you want to hear all about me and Batsy? Now, that is something I would gladly tell you about. Y'see, the Bat may look a bit... gloomy, but he is actually lots of fun. He's my best friend. He keeps up with me and I keep up with him. Dare I say, I make his life better. Heck, who the hell challenges the guy every single night with always new and improved plans to take over the city? Me, of course, and he loves me for that."

Jonathan could already feel a headache coming; He expected the clown to be a violent psychopath, not Batman's most talkative fan.

"As much as I'd like to explore the depths of your relationship with Batman, the focus of this interview is of a completely different nature," said Jonathan. "What is it exactly that you fear?"

"Does it matter?" begun Joker. "A life lived in fear isn't one worth living. I mean, just look at me! I wouldn't be the best criminal around here if I kept torturing myself with stupid paranoias. What do we have to be scared of, anyway? The sooner you losers understand that life is just one big funny joke, the better. Me and my Harley girl accepted it, and so did the other psychos in here, apparently. C'mon, Doc, don't tell me that you actually enjoy living like this. Who the hell likes doing whatever it is that you do? Me, on the other hand, actually enjoy my job: there's nothing better than making people smile, I tell ya. Because y'see, that's all I do. I'm a comedian, a genius, and I help Gotham see that. Why settle down for a boring, unhappy life, when all you have to do is look at the funny side?"

"So what is exactly the funny side of all this?" asked Jonathan, genuinely curious. He found himself genuinely interested in what the clown was saying: so interested that he focused his attention completely on him, even forgetting to take notes.

"The funny side, dear doctor, is that none of this makes sense," chuckled Joker. "You work, repress your true instincts and pretend to have a good time for what? To die alone and probably depressed in twenty years if you're lucky? That's the funny side: life makes no sense, so why stick with boring people and boring, useless rules? Can't you see how happy I am?" he grinned.

Jonathan almost agreed with what the man said. After all, he wasn't a saint either. He had tried so many times to hurt the bullies who made his life a living hell; he had even tried to kill his grandmother, the woman who ruined him, and he not even once felt remorse for his actions.

Much to Jonathan's annoyance, the Joker was right: a life lived in fear of following our instincts wasn't one worth living.

Soon after guards entered Jonathan's office to escort the Joker back to his cell, who couldn't stop grinning. "Nice talking to you, Doc." said Joker cheerfully, waving as he left the room.

"Nice talking to you too, Joker." replied Jonathan, as he opened one drawer in his desk. Carefully tucked under a book was an old looking piece of paper, which Jonathan quickly unfolded.

_Fear toxin_ was written on top of the paper, followed by a long list of not so easily procurable chemicals.

"Fear is essential, but a life lived in fear isn't one worth living." he murmured.


End file.
